Sunday, 16 November 2008

Being vulgar

A guide to etiquette in the UK advises not to clink glasses during a toast, put salt on food without tasting it first or discuss sex or politics at the dinner table. Apparently these are top of a new list of social no-nos.

Oh well, cross the French off the guest list then.

It goes on to advise against such faux pas as: obtrusive underwear; crumpled, frumpy, tarty and lazy clothing; tucking your napkin into your shirt, deemed the height of vulgarity.

Hang fire, some of those stylish Gauls can come after all.

Diners should apparently stick to conversational safe subjects such as the weather, food and nature. Dinner, it says, is never a forum for debate.

No. Sorry, changed our mind. The French definitely can't come.

And if you should - heaven forbid - drop your napkin on the floor, do let the butler retrieve it.

Quoi? Knickers? Nature? Butlers? I'd rather stay at home with a takeaway and a piece of kitchen roll.

9 comments:

Stinking Billy said...

Cute! BTW, I got my inpiration for today's post from the title of your Cordon Bleu blog. Cheers! ;-)

Dumdad said...

All very U and non-U. And all a load of cobblers really. Having said that, I punish my butler severely if he doesn't get my pink gin just so.

The Boisterous Butterfly said...

I need to read the Dutch etiquette book and find out what is done and not done here. I know in the higher circles, you never touch your wineglasses together when making a toast, but that's as far as my Dutch knowledge goes.

Jaywalker said...

I am now fascinated by the idea of obtrusive underwear. I want some! It sounds like fun!

Also, I would be an epic fail on pretty much all of those, which might explain why I Never Leave This House.

parisgirl said...

I'm saying nothing except I have stocked up on unobtrusive knickers and the weather here has been unusually mild.

Iota said...

Weather, food and nature? Sounds pretty boring to me. Maybe the author of the guide gets through these boring events by dropping her/his napkin continually to test the patience of the butler. How many times would a butler pick it up, do you think?

Cimon said...

how about football ?

I was told by a girl from Argentina that 3 subjects were strictly forbidden, in that order : football, politics, religion.

I guess sex was OK...

bonnie-ann black said...

all those topics: weather, food and nature can lead to some mightly arguing over global warming (or "climate change" as is the genteel preference).

when i drop my napkin, i expect the butler to come with a fresh one, wipe the gravy off my chin and thank me for the privilege. i then allow him to suck the gravy off the napking. that is how i keep my butler in his very tight fitting clothing.

Paradise Lost In Translation said...

Well, I wd stay at home with your take away and Frenchman, sounds like he'd be much more fun to have a conversation with.